Leading with Empathy: Why Emotional Intelligence Still Matters at the Top
What to do when your top performer becomes your biggest problem.
Let’s talk about the executive elephant in the room — the underperformer.
Not the obviously-wrong hire, or the new starter finding their feet.
I’m talking about the one who used to crush it.
The one with all the promise, the pedigree, the big runs on the board.
And now? They’re coasting. Holding up projects. Killing momentum.
Worse — everyone else has noticed.
As leaders, our job isn’t just to notice the drop.
It’s to do something about it — before it poisons the team.
But here’s the trap: most execs go in too hard, too fast.
Tough feedback. Impatience. Ultimatums.
(And if we’re honest, a bit of resentment that we’re even having to deal with this.)
Here’s the truth: Emotional intelligence isn’t about going soft.
It’s about staying sharp and human.
So how do you handle it?
1. Check your lens before you pull the trigger
Sometimes what looks like laziness is actually burnout.
Sometimes it’s personal — a hidden issue outside of work.
Sometimes it’s structural — a poor fit between the role and their skillset.
If you skip the curiosity and jump to conclusions, you risk losing a good person for the wrong reason.
EQ in Action: Ask questions before giving directions. Listen before diagnosing.
2. Make it safe, but make it clear
Empathy doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations — it means delivering them with clarity and respect.
Set the tone: “This isn’t a takedown. It’s a reset.”
Be honest about the gap — behaviour, performance, attitude — but stay on their side of the table.
EQ in Action: Feedback should feel like a partnership, not a prosecution.
3. Coach, don’t rescue
It’s tempting to overfunction for an underperformer — jumping in, fixing, hand-holding.
Resist it.
Instead, set goals with them, not for them.
Track progress. Create ownership. Stay curious, not controlling.
EQ in Action: Empower them to step up. If they don’t, then you make the call.
4. Watch the shadow they cast
A senior underperformer doesn’t just drop their own ball — they kill morale for everyone else.
High performers are watching how you respond.
If you let mediocrity slide, you become complicit.
EQ in Action: Empathy is not an excuse to ignore impact. It’s fuel to act faster — with precision.
Wrap-up:
Emotional intelligence isn’t some fluffy leadership fad.
It’s the operating system for the hard conversations.
The leaders who navigate underperformance best?
They combine empathy with edge.
They care enough to get curious, but clear enough to make the call.
Because the hardest thing about leading people…
Is that they’re people.
Coming up in Edition 66:
“From Manager to Mobiliser: Helping New Executives Build Influence Fast”
We’ll look at how new leaders gain traction without overplaying their hand — and what boards can do to help them succeed.